Tuesday, 10 May 2011

  • Feisty Women

    On Sunday Pastor Paul was teaching on the wedding at Cana where Jesus did his first miracle and he focused on the odd things that Jesus said to his mother and how in the end they weren't really so odd. I won't rehash the whole sermon because what actually struck me was how feisty Mary is in this story. Jesus gives her some weird response but just like any typical mother she's just like yeah whatever and tells the servants to do whatever he tells them to do. She knew he was going to do the miracle no matter what response he gave. I thought that was funny. It also got me thinking about my family, it was after all mother's day. As I've gotten older I've heard more and more stories about my ancestors and the more I've heard the more I've come to realize that I come from a long line of confident, feisty women. Not the feisty that is itching for a fight but as Webster's says: showing exuberance and a strong determination. Combine this with a healthy dose of stubbornness and you have my ancestors on both sides.

    Oftentimes as I was growing up I was told that I should be more restrained and was even told on multiple occasions that I should wait for the guys to make decisions for me. (Not by my family mind you) I was often told that the Bible says that I as a female was not as good as males and so my job was to be pretty and please them and not be disagreeable. The first time you hear it it makes you mad but after having it repeated it gets in your head even though I knew that wasn't actually what the Bible said. So I struggled with that for a long time, maybe I should be quieter, meeker and more proper. But then I realized that it's just not the way I'm made. I'm really passionate about a lot of things and when I get passionate I can't stay quiet, I'm really really excited! And I think a world without passion would be very dull indeed. So I've decided that I am what I am as Popeye would say. I am a feisty woman and I'm not going to apologize for it. So shortly after mother's day and today on my Grammy's birthday I tip my hat to all the feisty women who came before me. Thanks for the legacy.

Friday, 22 April 2011

  • Easter Meditations

    So last night I went to the Maunday Thursday service at my parent's church. It wasn't the Sedar meal that we've done in years past but a Tenebrae service that focused on the shadows, on the attacks of satan in these days coming up to Easter. In these days Satan did his worst which is what makes Sunday so significant. The service recounted all of the pains that Jesus suffered, betrayal, desertion, intense physical pain but the greatest pain of all was the separation from the Father when Jesus took on all of our sins on the cross and the Father had to turn his face away.
    The pastor had started the sermon by saying how we don't often think of Jesus this way, as the man of sorrows but we think of him as always happy with halos and rainbows. But to me this is the Jesus that I know. When I was a child I came to know him as the God of Love but when I came to truly love him as a teenager I came to love him as the Man of Sorrows because it is only the Man of Sorrows who can identify with pain. In my greatest struggles when I felt no one understood, not even that I was misunderstood it felt like I was incomprehensible to people, I knew that he understood. Even in my lowest times when I was so surrounded by darkness and all I could feel was the pressing absence I still had that connection to God, that one thread to show me a way out. So when I think of that feeling and of the loneliness and isolation of that darkness I think of Jesus on the cross taking on all of our sin and feeling not only that but much worse than that. This man who has lived a perfect, holy life all of a sudden comes face to face with all the sin of the world and bears up under it. It makes me think of The Picture of Dorian Gray I picture Jesus looking into that kind of ugliness but willingly taking it up knowing the cost. As he is swallowed up by darkness his thread is cut off as the Father turns his face away. I cannot imagine what that kind of loneliness must feel like. We may feel alone but we never are, not like he was.
    It is an amazing thing that out of this great darkness comes the greatest light. This is what gives us the eternal hope, this is the reason why we can have peace in times of trial. It is truly an incredible thing. This is what he has given me to meditate on in this Lenten season: It was not until I had tasted the darkness that I truly began to understand the beauty of the light. He keeps bringing this back to me to remind me of the greatness of what he has done. He shows me where I once lived in darkness and how that helped me to see and understand my need and the true beauty of the character of God.
    What about you? How did you meet Jesus? What was the turning point where you started to see the beauty of God?

Monday, 18 April 2011

  • So as I told many people, I started a new fundraising training course today to help me raise my support to get back to Prague. I just finished the first session  and it was really good. At least half of the struggle of raising support is mental. It's moving past your own fears and insecurities and fully align yourself with what God is asking of you. One of my biggest fears and hesitations of support raising is that I don't want to make people feel like I'm trying to take advantage of them or cultivating the relationship falsely simply because I want their money. I love people and I want them to know that I love them but that I would also love to extend the blessings of this ministry to their life but if they don't want to then it won't hurt our relationship. I really struggle with this because I am terrible at keeping up with people, not because I don't want to but because I have a horrendous sense of time. I feel like the last time I talked to someone was a couple weeks ago when in reality it was a couple years ago. It's something that I try to work on every day but I'm still really bad at it.
    The wonderful thing about the course thing that I started today is that it reminded me that it's not about me and meeting my needs. It's about giving people the opportunity to be the expression of Christ to the world, to really be a part of the Great Commission in more than one place. It's about giving them the opportunity to be blessed by what God will do through them. There is so much joy in the work and it should be an exciting thing to ask people to be a part of that.
    There is a lot of negativity surrounding support raising. Most people I meet try to be sympathetic and tell me of all the terrible things that will make it impossible for me to raise support. That's nice of them to try to console me, but it only feeds fear and doubt. In our culture missionary=beggar and it's a shameful thing to do, but if I need to be called a beggar to bring blessings to other people then I will. I will not manipulate people or guilt trip them into giving, I don't care who tells me I should, it kind of runs counter to everything I believe; but I am more than happy to extend an invitation to all those who love God and love children to get excited about what God's doing in the lives of children in the Czech Republic.
    Please pray for me as I continue this training, that I would be encouraged and get the accountability that I need and that I would remember that giving to God's work is not a burden but a blessing.

Friday, 25 March 2011

  • Last night I met with a home group that's part of a new church plant in Manchester and it was fabulous! The people are really nice and I had a great time hanging out and worshiping with them. Thank you to all of you who were praying for that. Keep praying for more interactions with more people!

Wednesday, 23 March 2011

  • So a couple weeks ago Paul was continuing his sermon series on the Beatitudes and he was up to Blessed are the peacemakers as the topic of that week's sermon. He quoted C.S. Lewis who said, "Every one says forgiveness is a lovely idea, until they have something to forgive." He told the story of a Christian contractor and Christian homeowner who were locked in a bitter court battle for years over work that was done on the house. The homeowner was suing the contractor and the contractor was counter-suing the homeowner. It was just not a good situation. Somewhere along the way someone recommended that they see a Christian counselor to help them sort it out. The counselor gave them some verses to read and the contractor went home and read them. He was convicted and arranged a meeting with the homeowner and all the lawyers as soon as possible. At the meeting he said he's like to make a statement and basically said I was wrong, some of this work is not done as well as it should be and I will fix it. The homeowner also moved, said you know I'm a bit of a perfectionist and wasn't very good about communicating what it was that I wanted you to do. The lawyers were dumbfounded that these two men who had been bitter enemies could in a moment walk out of the room as friends.

    This really hit home for me. Our first reaction when we're hurt, aggravated, or frustrated is to lash back. We don't want peace, we want revenge. We are seldom motivated to go and right the wrong, yet that's what the Bible asks us to do. I know that I'm always tempted to just swallow things when I'm frustrated and the other person may not even know that something is wrong. Why is this wrong? Because it's dishonest to my brother or sister in Christ for one. Even if I think I've forgotten it, I haven't and it slowly builds up into this big ball of anger that grows into bitterness at the person and the situation. Once you've become embittered it's very hard to be loving to that person and you'll find yourself gossiping about the situation with others. You won't call it gossip, you'll call it venting, or letting other people know the truth, or whatever way you rationalize. Yet the whole thing could be avoided by simply being honest in the first place. Blessed are the peacemakers...may we all have the courage to make peace with our brothers and sisters in Christ.